I stopped watching American television years ago, mostly because it's garbage. So you won't see me shedding a tear over the writers and actors strike going on in Hollywood.
Let them strike. It is a victory for cinematic good taste and quality storytelling.
Say, did I ever mention that I am a member of the Writers Guild of America?
Probably not. It isn't something I brag about.
A writer contracted by a television network is required to join the WGA. And 20 years ago, for a laugh, I contracted with ABC Daytime to write a spec script for the soap opera "One Life to Live."
I was acquainted with the head writer for "One Life to Live" and he suggested that I do a spec script for the soap on the slim chance they ever need to hire another writer.
Now, I hate daytime soaps. In the history of the world, there has never been a bigger time waster than soap operas. But the money they offered made it too tempting.
I mean, here I was writing an episode that would never air and ABC was paying me the going rate for television writers. It was a mind-boggling amount of money for a single script, let me tell you. So I happily signed on the dotted line and agreed to do it. I also had to sign a non-disclosure agreement since I would be sent the plot synopses of episodes that had yet to air (soap operas guard their plots better than the government guards our national secrets).
When I submitted the script and got my check, I was surprised to discover that the WGA took a healthy bite out of it.
Now, I’m stuck. A card-carrying member of a union I never wanted to join.
Anyroad.
This past week, I've been expanding my television viewing experience by venturing from the comfortable shores of the UK into Germany and Scandinavia.
I kicked off my foray last Friday with the German miniseries "Faking Hitler," which I loved.
Then on Monday, I left Germany for the chilly climes of Sweden and Denmark.
So far, I've watched the 2-season Swedish thriller “Det som göms i snö” (or as it is titled in English, "The Truth Will Out"). Then on Wednesday, I started the Danish crime drama "Den som dræber - Fanget af mørket" (AKA "Darkness - Those Who Kill").
Let Hollywood writers and actors strike. There is much better TV out there than the drivel they churn out.
"The Truth Will Out" had so many unexpected twists and turns that every time I thought I had it figured out, the plot would toss me a curve ball.
Now, I'm not the kind of person to talk to the television (except if I'm watching a show set in London when I will scream "Green Penis!" every time a shot of the Gherkin building appears on the screen). But as I watched episodes of "The Truth Will Out," I found myself on several occasions voicing my shock and surprise. If I had a dollar for every time I said, "Holy crap!" I'd be a gazillionaire.
The series is about a cold case squad in Stockholm run by Detective Peter Wendel, who has just returned to duty after being on leave for three years following a breakdown prompted by the alleged suicide of his brother.
In the first season, a defense attorney is brutally stabbed to death in his car and the killer leaves a bloody note pinned to his chest with the knife. The single-sentence note calls into question the confessions of an imprisoned serial killer, prompting Wendel to suspect that the serial killer's crimes were committed by someone still at large.
In the second season, the murder of a police officer sets off a chain of events that leads Wendel to discover the truth about his brother's so-called suicide.
Both seasons are incredibly well-written, with plenty of suspense, unexpected twists, and just the right amount of humor.
It’s probably because I’m an ugly American, but I expected the acting to be amateurish. Boy, was I wrong. The entire cast is as sharp and brilliant as the writing.
As much as I liked "The Truth Will Out," from what I've watched of it so far, the Danish thriller "Darkness - Those Who Kill" is even better.
"Darkness" is about criminal profiler Louise Bergstein who helps Danish police investigate serial killers.
And before you say, "You mean like 'Criminal Minds,'" bite your tongue.
"Darkness - Those Who Kill" makes "Criminal Minds" look cartoonish and silly.
Bergstein doesn't investigate a different serial killer in each episode the way the FBI agents do on "Criminal Minds."
Instead, the entire season focuses on one investigation, so the story is fleshed out completely. And because the writing is top-notch, you never feel like they're dragging it out. The scripts have no useless filler; it's all red meat.
The first season was so chilling and suspenseful and the plot so complex that it was impossible to get ahead of it. Whenever I thought I had it all figured out, the writers threw a curve ball that left me utterly blindsided.
And rather than the cartoonish characters from "Criminal Minds," the characters in "Darkness" are complex, compelling, and entirely believable.
I’m only one season in, so we’ll see if the other seasons are as good.
My biggest complaint about American television is that the medium is no longer treated like a cinematic art form. Instead, it exists to provide actors with a platform from which to promote their celebrity. Writers tailor their scripts to the whims and demands of the stars, often to the detriment of the series.
From what I've seen so far, the shows out of Scandinavia still approach television as an artistic medium, and that's the primary difference between a series like "Darkness - Those Who Kill" and the garbage Hollywood churns out.
Hollywood puts the "small" in "small screen." But the Scandinavian shows refuse to allow the medium to limit them.
Both "The Truth Will Out" and "Darkness: Those Who Kill" have a big-screen cinematic feel about them, and not just in the filming. The writing, acting, cinematography, editing – everything has more depth and cinematic richness than anything I've seen on American television, except HBO's miniseries "Chernobyl."
My brother texted me yesterday to say he wouldn't like having to read subtitles, and I get that. But it's something you get used to.
I honed the skill by watching shows filmed in Scotland or Northern England. Let me tell you, understanding the Northumbrian Geordie accent ain't easy. It took me months to develop what I call "Brit ear." And until I did, I relied heavily on English subtitles to carry me through.
It also helps that the Scandinavian writers use dialogue deftly, employing an economy of words that American writers, eager to accommodate their scenery-chewing stars, wouldn't dream of using.
So let the media clutch its pearls over how the Hollywood strike might affect the upcoming fall season. Who cares?
Now is the perfect time to brave the chilly climate of Scandinavia (and the subtitles) to watch some quality television for a change.
I love, love, love my Britbox and Acorn subscriptions, and am hopelessly addicted. Hollywood can keep their garbage.