This past week could go down in history as the week when the Republican Party turned 2024 into the Kobayashi Maru of presidential elections.
It began last Sunday when Ron DeSantis dropped out of the Republican primary, paving the way for Trump’s nomination, and ended with a New York jury handing down an $83.3 million judgment against Donald Trump in E. Jean Carroll’s second defamation trial.
Meanwhile, the Republican National Committee is rooting through the couch cushions trying to scrape together enough cash to keep its 2024 losses from being catastrophic.
Since I already tackled DeSantis’ exit from the 2024 presidential race in my column “Democrats Secure Trump’s Nomination,” let’s move on to the other signs that the Republican Party is still letting Donald Trump drag them off course.
A Taxpayer-Funded Legal Defense Fund for Billionaires?
The Democrat Party is all but neutered politically in the once-swing state of Florida, thanks to the work of Governor Ron DeSantis.
However, because the Republican Party has a nasty habit, especially in the Age of Trump, of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, on Monday, Florida Republican state Senator Ileana Garcia introduced a bill that would have created a legal defense fund for Donald Trump, effectively forcing taxpayers to cough up $5 million to pay a billionaire’s lawyers.
When I first saw the tweet from Politico on Monday afternoon, I thought it was a joke.
Sure, taxpayers provide public defenders for people who can’t afford a lawyer. But Donald Trump is a billionaire. He can afford lawyers without taxpayers getting screwed.
All Republicans have to do is not be insane. Is that too much to ask?
If Garcia got her way, Florida would have to rewrite the Miranda warning:
“You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, or your name is Donald Trump, an attorney will be provided for you.”
It’s bad enough that Trump expects his campaign donors to cover the cost of his mounting legal fees. But to demand by law that taxpayers in your state foot the bill isn’t just insulting; it’s insane.
Fortunately for Florida taxpayers, their Republican governor isn’t insane.
DeSantis threatened to veto the bill if it ever hit his desk. Garcia caved and withdrew it from consideration.
Naturally, the pro-Trump engagement farmers on Twitter were furious with DeSantis. They accused him of being a two-faced backstabber who endorsed Trump on Sunday only to turn around on Monday and refuse to stick Florida taxpayers with a $5 million legal bill.
I’ll admit it. I found their insufferable indignation delightfully entertaining.
At the rate things are going, sticking Florida taxpayers with a $5 million bill to cover Trump’s legal fees wouldn’t make a dent in what Donald Trump will owe before he limps into November.
Alina Fails at Faking Smart
Several weeks ago, Alina Habba, the set of boobs Trump hired as his legal spokes-cleavage, appeared on a pro-Trump podcast where she boasted about how pretty she is.
“Somebody said to me, ‘Alina, would you rather be smart or pretty?’ And I said, ‘Oh, easy. Pretty. I can fake being smart.’”
Plenty of pretty women can fake being smart. Alina Habba, however, is not one of them.
On Friday, the jury in E. Jean Carroll’s second defamation lawsuit determined that Trump owed $83.3 million in damages — $18.3 million in compensatory damages and another $65 million in punitive damages.
Who represented Donald Trump in the trial? Alina Habba.
I followed Politico legal reporter Erica Orden’s real-time coverage of the trial on Twitter, and let me put it this way: Alina Habba couldn’t fake smart if Trump’s life depended on it.
Fortunately for Alina, MAGA World is not a merit-based ecosystem. Loyalty covers a multitude of shortcomings.
You can be completely incompetent and still get a pass as long as you remain slavishly loyal to Donald Trump. It also helps immeasurably if your loyalty is wrapped in a pretty face and comes with a great set of knockers.
However, loyalty is entirely a one-way street.
Case in point:
[Who knew being a gigantic prat was genetic?]
Kayleigh McEnany is one of those pretty women who doesn’t have to fake smart. She has a law degree from Harvard University, and next to Jen Psaki, was one of the best White House press secretaries to ever stand behind that podium.
In her daily press briefings, Kayleigh did not suffer fools gladly as she shredded the media’s false narratives and batted down their specious attacks day in and day out, all without breaking a sweat.
But because Kayleigh suggested that Donald Trump should take a more conciliatory tone if he hoped to win over moderate Republicans and independent voters, Trump blew a gasket and his faithful poodles declared her “disloyal.”
Meanwhile, Alina Habba can cost Donald Trump tens of millions of dollars in legal judgments and fines due to her inability to defend him even half as well as McEnany and all is forgiven because she’s an oleaginous lickspittle who sure can fill out a sweater.
Alina responded to losing the case like any fake smart attorney would, by sucking up to Trump supporters on Twitter:
This is far from over. We are just getting started. 🇺🇸🥊 #MAGA #TrumpDerangementSyndrome
She may not be able to fake smart, but there’s no denying that Alina has mastered the art of faking MAGA.
On the plus side, the E. Jean Carroll trial did provide us with the most hilarious courtroom sketch I’ve ever seen.
Meet Trum Tum Tugger, the curious cat:
Dead Broke RNC Scrambles for Cash
The Washington Times reported on Friday that when members of the Republican National Committee meet next week in Las Vegas, they will vote on whether the party should open a line of credit since, unlike the DNC, its cupboards are nearly bare.
How pathetic is that?
Pathetic, but entirely predictable.
Under the guidance of Donald Trump’s hand-picked RNC Chair, Ronna McDaniel, Republicans lost the House in 2018, the White House and Senate in 2020, and barely managed to eke out a majority in the House in 2022.
Now here we are in 2024, and the RNC is all-in on a nominee who is saddled with more baggage than a Samsonite store and hated by over half the country.
With a track record like that, would you donate money to these guys? After all those losses, there is no reason to throw good money after bad.
It certainly hasn’t helped that Republicans in Congress haven’t even tried to show voters that they are a sane, reasonable, and effective alternative to the Democrats. No. They were too busy putting on a circus for the MAGA faithful with Matt Gaetz, the Alina Habba of the House GOP, as the ringmaster.
On paper, defeating Joe Biden, expanding the GOP majority in the House, and retaking the Senate should be easier than solving a 2-piece jigsaw puzzle.
In reality, we’ll be lucky if the flat-broke RNC can avoid a humiliating blowout.
Side Note: What if the Soviets beat us to the moon?
After such a discouraging week, I decided to take Apple up on their offer of a 3-month free subscription to their AppleTV+ streaming service. It was Apple’s gift to me for purchasing my new MacBook Air.
I have an AppleTV device, but I don’t pay the $9.99 a month subscription fee for Apple’s streaming service. I’m content with subscribing to Britbox, Acorn, and Sundance Originals.
Then again, a 3-month free subscription with the option to cancel at any time was too good to pass up. That gives me plenty of time to check out their programming and still cancel the subscription before the three months are up.
Yesterday, I started watching the Apple TV series “For All Mankind.”
Unlike “The Man in the High Castle” which is based on an earth-shattering premise, “What if the Nazis won the war?” “For All Mankind” is based on what appears to be an insignificant “what if” premise, namely, “What if the Soviets beat us to the moon?”
I’m only three episodes in, but so far, it’s holding my attention. I’m eager to see if the “what if” premise is as insignificant as it appears or if that one change in history, like the butterfly effect theory, sends us on an unexpected and frightening new trajectory.