The Epstein Distraction
Since when does the road to America's "Golden Age" lead through Hell?
That absurd man with the little boy's name has been scurrying around the US Capitol this week, asking Republican lawmakers if they think Congress should subpoena Ghislaine Maxwell to testify about the vast conspiracy theory they've constructed around the long-dead and rotting billionaire investor Jeffrey Epstein.
Yes, sir. Benny Johnson is on the case!
Which Benny Johnson?
This Benny Johnson:
He's the guy on the right, trying to make himself look as cool as alleged rapist and sex trafficker Andrew Tate, as the fires of Hell burn behind them. What a role model you got there, Benny. Imagine being so insecure that you would look to Andrew Tate for inspiration.
(By the way: That image isn’t my doing. That was how Benny promoted his interview with Tate on Instagram.)
See, Benny is one of the many too-online MAGA "influencers" who claim that they want justice for Epstein's victims. Yes, sir. That's the motivation here: Justice for the victims.
Has Benny given a thought to Andrew Tate's victims? Then again, why would he when Andrew is so dreamy?
(He’s not dreamy. He's as chinless as Don Jr.)
It is highly unlikely that Benny gives a toss about Epstein's victims either. Like all engagement-farming online "influencers," Benny cares about Benny's bank balance. Self-interest isn't a sin. But for heaven's sake, be honest about it.
I could almost have some grudging respect for these guys if they just came out and said, "Listen, I don't give a rip who is named in the Epstein Files. And I couldn't care less about his victims. But Epstein is clickbait gold, and I want my piece of that."
I wrote more than my fair share of Epstein-related content when I was a freelancer for monetized clickbait websites. Those guys definitely believed that Epstein was a goldmine. There were weeks when I was assigned at least one article a day on the Epsteinverse. It got to the point that I would be typing away while yelling at the screen, "I don't give a shit about Jeffrey friggin' Epstein!!!"
(Is it any wonder I got so cynical?)
I don't give a damn about the so-called Epstein files. Remember when Trump's people invited some of the too-online MAGA “influencers” to the White House, and they came outside posing with white binders of the first installment of the so-called Epstein files, and it ended up being a great big goose-egg?
Man, I laughed myself silly over that.
It was like Charlie Brown going trick-or-treating and only getting a rock.
Long before the too-online MAGA "influencers" started making demands of Trump to release the so-called Epstein files, Epstein's victims sued everyone associated with the man, including the banks that managed his money. JP Morgan settled the suit for $290 million, while Deutsche Bank agreed to pay $75 million. Trust me, the victims don't need the too-online MAGA "influencers" in their corner, especially since the "influencers" are only exploiting the victims' exploitation for cold, hard cash.
We should compile a list of all of the MAGA "influencers" who used their connections to the rich and powerful, and not-so-powerful (Sorry, Don Jr. you need a chin to get in the "powerful" category) to cozy up to Andrew Tate the way those who used their connections to the rich and powerful cozied up to Jeffrey Epstein. If and when Tate ends up in prison, we can put that list into a white binder and hand it out at the White House.
Admittedly, the White House bungled this, big time. Better to ignore the non-influential "influencers" entirely than to start this fan dance in the first place. The Trump administration is never going to lift the last veil. It's never going to happen. But no. They had to play the tease and hand their small but loud online "base" red meat in a white binder.
It was an embarrassing unforced error.
Trump could have the most effective week of his presidency, and still, the only thing reporters will ask him about is Jeffrey Epstein.
Rather than take the L, Republicans in Congress are flapping their gobs about issuing a subpoena to Ghislaine Maxwell. Really? She's appealing her conviction. Her lawyers would be idiots to allow her to testify to Congress when her appeal is pending. She would spend the entire hearing repeatedly pleading the Fifth. But, hey, at least Marjorie Taylor Greene and "Based Mike Lee" could get some righteous video clips from it, amiright?
I think we can conclude that I am still in the "You All Suck!" phase. Sorry, guys.
On a lighter note. I started a short story this week that is perfectly lovely. So far, I've banged out about 2,700 words, which ain't bad for two days' work. I'm considering publishing it in installments here at Sweet Merciful Zeus once it is complete. We'll see.
Anyroad.
The Epstein files imbroglio is a stupid, silly waste of time and energy. The powerless so-called "influencers" are desperate to prove that they have sway over Donald Trump by fixating on the most absurd "who gives a crap" non-story and then demanding he respond. The corporate press, eager to exploit any schism within the so-called MAGA movement, will happily help the "influencers" out by hounding Trump with questions about it.
This is how America enters a Golden Age?
Yeah, I don't think so.
Perhaps I'm a bit jaded, but powerful government types acting like randy college boys on Spring Break isn't new. Google "the Profumo Affair" if you don't believe me. Who can forget the infamous "Waitress Sandwich" incident with Senators Ted Kennedy and Chris Dodd? Powerful people are rarely known for their moral and upright behavior.
Aside from hoping for a big payday, I suspect that the other motivation behind this urge to get their grubby hands on the so-called Epstein files is much more voyeuristic and puerile than these "influencers" care to admit.
The whole thing is slimy and perverse.
Rather than playing silly buggers with the too-online “influencers,” I would prefer that Donald Trump spend his time reining in the size of the federal bureaucracy and deporting illegal aliens.
That's what I voted for.
The Epstein files? Not so much.