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A Banner Week for Lying Politicians
Here are some of the more notable pork pies peddled by politicians this week
After spending a decade writing about politics, I am deeply suspicious and distrustful of politicians.
In short, politicians lie. It's what they do. It's part of the job description.
They lie about what they'll do if they get elected.
They lie about their personal biography.
They make up conversations with voters or constituents that either never happened or have been carefully tailored and adjusted to suit a particular audience.
Politicians are in the business of peddling pork pies, so telling porkies is part of their job description.
Joe Biden has spent more than half of his life spinning tall tales, and now, with his brain turning to soup, he can no longer separate fact from fiction.
It's naïve, however, to think Joe Biden is the only dishonest, deceitful politician to come over the transom.
Some politicians are masters at deception while others are ham-handed and amateurish. For every slick liar like Barack Obama, there is a bumbling clown like George Santos. But make no mistake about it, all of them lie.
This was a banner week for political prevarication with the calumny coming from both sides of the aisle.
Let’s review, shall we?
Joe's 9/11 Porkie
While commemorating the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks from Alaska on Monday, President Pork Pie Biden claimed that he went to Ground Zero "the next day."
Only then-Senator Joe Biden didn't visit Ground Zero "the next day."
In reality, Joe didn't go to Ground Zero until September 20, 2001, when he traveled by train from DC to New York City with a Senate delegation to tour the destruction.
In peddling this porkie on Monday, Joe even plagiarized Hillary Clinton, claiming that looking at the devastation "felt like I was looking through the gates of hell."
In 2021, Mrs. Clinton recounted to CBS News what it was like circling Ground Zero in a helicopter the day after the 9/11 attack, telling "CBS Mornings" co-host Tony Kokoupil, "I cannot imagine anything that looked more like the gates of hell."
Joe Peddles Pork Pie to Those Who Keep Kosher
But Joe's week of peddling porkies didn't stop on Monday.
On Thursday, Joe told a group of rabbis that he was "raised in the synagogues of my state. You think I'm kidding. I'm not."
This will surprise the people who attended a January 2020 NAACP event in Iowa where Joe claimed he was "raised in the black church, politically, not a joke."
It might also be news to the people of Puerto Rico. Last year, while visiting the island, Joe claimed, "I was sort of raised in the Puerto Rican community at home, politically."
Who knew old Joe was the first Black, Puerto Rican, Jewish, devout Catholic President of the United States?
The Return of Faux Professor Joe
In a perfect example of Joe's inability to separate fact from fiction now that his dementia has swallowed his brain, during a speech at Prince George's Community College in Maryland on Thursday, Joe once again repeated the claim that he "used to teach political theory" for four years at the University of Pennsylvania.
Never happened. Joe’s so-called “professorship” was honorary and he never once stepped foot in a classroom.
But Joe Biden wasn't the only politician caught telling porkies this week.
Boebert Bluffs About Puffs
Republican Congresswoman Lauren Boebert and her date last weekend were asked to leave a performance of the musical "Beetlejuice" after audience members complained that she was vaping and generally screwing around.
Boebert's office denied that she was vaping, and the showboating Republican "influencer" took to social media to claim that she was only guilty of "laughing and singing too loud."
Like most amateur pork pie peddlers, Boebert got caught after a local news channel obtained surveillance footage from the theater showing her vaping while seated in the audience.
The bush-league bullshitter was then forced to apologize, claiming she "genuinely did not recall vaping" when she went over her story with her campaign manager.
Donald's Fauci Fib
In an interview with Sirius XM host Megyn Kelly this week, Donald Trump got caught fibbing about the presidential commendation he gave Dr. Anthony Fauci.
Kelly pressed Trump on making Fauci "a star," noting that he even gave the diminutive doctor a presidential commendation before leaving office.
When she asked Trump if he would "like a do-over on that," the former president, who gave Fauci the presidential commendation, claimed he didn't know who gave Fauci the presidential commendation.
After Kelly noted that the clue was in the name, Trump refused to take responsibility. Instead, he doubled down, telling Kelly, "I really don't know who gave him the commendation. Somebody probably handed him a commendation."
Yes, that "somebody" was you, you dozy, dishonest sod.
Gibson's X-Rated Mendacity
One of the most brazen liars this week was Susanna Gibson, a Democrat running for the Virginia General Assembly.
Seriously, this one takes the cake.
Susanna Gibson took the whole “whoring yourself for campaign contributions” literally. She and her husband set up a page on the porn website Chaturbate from which they live-streamed their sex acts to 5,000 paying subscribers. The money was then used to fund Gibson's campaign.
After the Washington Post broke the story of her unconventional fundraising scheme, Gibson had the unmitigated gall to play the victim.
The Democrat candidate claimed that the videos she voluntarily posted were "leaked" by her opponents in a political version of "revenge porn."
How is it "leaked" "revenge porn" when you were the one who posted them online in the first place?
Susanna and her husband didn't film themselves for private consumption. They performed sex acts that they live-streamed online to raise money for her campaign.
Noticing their money-making endeavor is not a "leak," and it certainly isn't "revenge porn."
But since the truth was far more repugnant, Susanna decided to spin a web of “well-I-nevery” lies.
In a statement to CNN on Tuesday, Gibson claimed that calling attention to her online sex site is "an illegal invasion of my privacy."
If you're charging 5,000 people to watch your live-streaming sex acts, the Expectation of Privacy ship has sailed.
The Democrat who willingly frolicked in the gutter also accused Republicans of "gutter politics" and claimed they committed a "sex crime" by calling attention to her X-rated fundraising effort.
The absolute cheek of this woman.
Two-Timing Kristi's Deceit
Two years ago, North Dakota Governor Kristi Noem was forced to address rumors that she was engaged in an illicit affair with Trump hanger-on Corey Lewandowski.
On Friday, new life was breathed into the rumor when the UK Daily Mail published an exclusive report quoting multiple sources who revealed that the affair is common knowledge and has been going on for years.
Unsurprisingly, the Noem camp is claiming that the rumor is only making headlines again because the Republican governor last week endorsed Donald Trump for president.
Sources later told the New York Post that the affair has long been known within Republican political circles. One source pointed out that Noem's husband Bryon moved out of the governor's mansion about two years ago.
Meanwhile, a GOP operative told the Post that the story was likely planted by "one of her competitors for VP."
As if anyone on Planet Earth believes that being unfaithful to a spouse is a bridge too far for the guy who cheated on his wife by banging porn stars.
The only way to kneecap a competitor for Trump's running mate is to leak stories of her criticizing Donald Trump. "Disloyalty" is the only sin that guy will never forgive.
Both the Mail and the Post note that the scandal is especially troublesome given Noem's public persona as a pro-family conservative Christian.
But as I said, politicians lie. You would have to be deeply naïve to think how Kristi Noem sells herself to voters perfectly matches up with reality.
That isn't to say honest politicians don't exist. They do, but they're the exception, not the rule.
Fame and power go to your head. That's just a fact. The rich and powerful believe they can lie, steal, and cheat with impunity. And if they do get caught, they just lie some more.
Meanwhile, the equally dishonest media defends Democrat liars while hanging Republican liars out to dry.
This is why Lauren Boebert's vaping fib got mountains of press coverage from the same media outlets that helped Susanna Gibson frame the exposure of her sex-tapes-for-campaign-cash scheme as a "leak."
Politics is a dishonest business.
Voters would be foolish to put their trust in any politician. If you do, you're only lying to yourself.
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